What concrete thing can you do to be a better parent?

It strikes me that many of us are experts at figuring out what other parents are doing wrong, but have substantially more trouble figuring out concrete ways in which we ourselves could do better.





At the moment, I'm worried that one of my kids isn't getting as much of my attention as she needs. My current goal is to fix that.





Anybody else? Perfect parents are exempt....What concrete thing can you do to be a better parent?
I think for me I could do less for my kids. I think they could be more independent if I didn't hinder it by doing so much for them rather than expecting them to do more for themselves. Don't get me wrong, they have chores and plenty of responsibilities but I do a lot of things for them that they are probably old enough to do for themselves as well. I guess I ';mother'; them too much. What concrete thing can you do to be a better parent?
First let go of the notion that your kids are perfect. They're not and they never will be. It doesn't help if there is always a high bar set and pressure to BE perfect. I'm not saying its a bad thing to have goals, just make them realisitc. Second-- tell your children that you're always going to be there for them no matter what and that they can tell you anything with out fear of judging them. Third- don't bug them/ swarm them/ invade their personal life/ time. Give them space but also give them the option of spending time with you. Always let your kids know how much you love them, try to be open minded, be logical and look out for their best interests.
I have the same issue with my second born. I definitely know she needs more one on one time with me and my husband. She's always been a little more neglected... When she was one I had a needy two year old and a newborn so I feel like she lost out.


Luckily my husband and I are both aware of this issue and we're working on it. She was also a little behind a few months ago in school and has made AMAZING strides since my husband and I got more involved and supplemented education specific to her needs.





Another big mistake I feel that I make...


I don't give enough positive feedback and tend to focus on what they're doing wrong rather than what they do right... DEFINITELY working on that one. My mother was the same way with me and I don't want my kids to feel the way I felt.
okay. to be a better parent just pay attention. if she is responsible for her age then dont be too overprotective of her cause my parents did that up to the day i was 18. they wouldnt let me hang out with some of my friends cause of their mothers and i was 18 years old, so finally i left and i havent talked to them since. when i left i told them that they shouldnt have done this to me for so many years and now their left without a daughter. let your daughter or son have space. it tends to be the girl that the parents cant let go of because you think that she is all innocent and that you think that she is going to get into trouble. but she is not if she is responsible. and if you dont give her space and trust her with her freedom then she is just going to do whatever she wants behind your back and then you have no idea what she is doing
I feel like I have a laundry list of things I could improve, and I know I'm not a perfect mom, but I do try really hard. I think I need more patience, I need to spend more time playing with my boys(when you have 2, it's easy to just let them play together alot).





One thing I have noticed, is that since I have had my kids, I have put myself on the back burner a little...which is good to a point. I should be taking my vitamins, getting more sleep...I want to be healthy and have more energy to keep up with them!
I could use more patience. And while I like to give out my advice, I should also listen to it. For me it all goes back to the patience thing. Most of the advice I give on here in some way or another goes back to sitting back, examining your problem, and creatively fixing it. It's something I don't always do myself. Good job at making us think. In general people are much better at ';fixing'; other people's problems, and pointing out their weaknesses. Thanks for reminding us that we need to make sure we're focusing on ourselves.
Lots of good replies here. For me, the one thing I was determined to do as a parent was to allow my son to ASK QUESTIONS. I grew up with the attitude that if you asked your parents the reasons for various rules, it was considered back-talk or ';sass';. If I make a rule for my son, I encourage him to talk about it, so that I know he knows my reasons.






I am by no means a perfect parent. I think my biggest issue is time management....I pretty much suck at it. I have a hard time dividing my focus evenly amongst my children (3 of them) and I'm afraid someone always feels left out. I am working on it and it is getting a bit better. I like this question very interesting. Thank you.
I need to spend more time with my kids, as a group and individually. You'd think it wouldn't be so hard, since I'm a stay-at-home mom, but I fall victim to letting the TV spend too much time with them instead of me. For instance, I should get off Y!A and go spend time with my oldest who just got home from school and play with the younger ones, who've just woken up from their naps.
i think I could pay more attention to my son..get more on his level and play. I feel we get home and all i want to do is watch tv which is total crap. think I am just lazy.





I have started to change that by cutting back on my smoking, going to the gym which is hard but, possible since i have done it before. It gives me more energy to get on his level. he is four. plus, it makes us both happy :) otherwise, I sit there telling him to play in another room or to be quite..its hard being the only child and having no one to play with you know?? so he turns to me for play time. yea..totally feel like a bag of doodoo for it.
Make a goal to spend at least 30 more minutes a day with each one of your kids, this way nobody is the favorite, and nobody is ignored. Make another goal to have a family night at least once a month, go bowling, play a game, watch a movie, etc.. Good luck!! =]
I'm with you. I would like to spend more one on one time with my son. Having an infant daughter is very time consuming so I don't get as much one on one time with Connor anymore. I would also love more patience with the kids when they make me crazy! :)





I suppose those are my goals.
Play with her. Tell her that she can choose the game (Uno rocks), and play with her for a set amount of time.





My favorite memories of my Dad was on one special day, he'd play with us and do anything we wished. It was SO special.





TX Mom



I could have more educational activities with my kids....but i believe the single concrete thing u could do to be a better parent is to educate myself in early childhood development etc.
I can make a better concentrated effort to enforce my own rules. Sometimes I get lax for no other reason than I'm tired or distracted. Not good enough, that's not consistent. And it shows.
Set the example you want them to follow.
Speak to your kids about truth and how the world turns. Thats what they want to know is what all this stuff around us is. It opens their imagination.





I remember when I was young, in the car with my mother. I asked her where do clouds come from? She said I dont know. I said are they gas? She said ';yep';. I asked where did the gas come from, the ground? She said ';yep';. I spent a lot of time wondering how all that worked. Eventually I learn it in school that the clouds are tiny droplets of water that cling to a dust particle. It made me really upset she didnt tell me the truth. I intentionally didnt listen to her after that cause I dont know if what shes telling me was the truth or a lie. So think of your own childhood and wonder how you would have liked to have been treated. I never received anything I asked for christmas, I wanted nerf guns and video games. Always got clothes and a radio every year. That really hurt me back then cause all my friends got great gifts and in school I looked poor to them.





Im not a parent myself but I have nieces and nephews. They love me cause I play with them. And Im caring at the same time. I'll sit them on my lap and speak to them that their injury will be ok. Tell them a joke. Tell them the truth about how the cut was formed and why they feel pain right now, it will go away. They'll stop crying and stare through space as you teach them a little fact of life.





So my thoughts are being truthful, caring, and playful. Ive learned that children will listen to you more if they respect you. If you spend a lot of time with them, play, and are nice and informative. That when you tell them ';no you cant have your way';. They'll just put on a frown and accept your answer cause they dont want to lose that relationship they have with you. Reminds me of a good friend I had awhile ago. He was the nicest guy you'll ever meet and just the nicest, cutest son I wish I had. Good relationship those two had cause my buddy, John spoke to him peacefully, never yelled, cared for him when he cried, and played with him. So build that kind of relationship so you both understand each other more. ';Remember when I told you daddy has to pay the bills this week? If I dont pay those bills we wont have a place to live! Id buy it for you if I could sweety but I cant right now.';





And as they get older like 13-16 years old, this is the hardest time for them cause they're trying to enter adulthood. They want to be spoken to as an adult. Start teaching them the ways of being a man or women. Dont necessarily sit down with them and talk about the birds and the bees like they do in the movies lol. Just view them as an adult and try to have a conversation with them. Do not treat them like a child! Especially in front of their friends! This goes from my experience and my cousins' children.





I feel this is the best route for good parenting. It is under my view and I hope I gave you some ideas.